Closed Contact: SBFSM

This past week I was contacted for the FIRST time by a woman on Plenty of Fish.

I hadn't really used plenty of fish for much, but my profile was bitter and short, so I kept it up. It's the sort of web community that is largely peopled with fake models looking to give fake blowjobs to men who *may* click on a banner ad, and give the site owner a penny.
With a readership "Larger than all other Dating Services Combined," the site seems to be a haven for sex mongers, teenage single mothers, and obscene obesity.

For example, one of the charming women looking for a long term relationship within my strict search parameters has this to say:
{
IM A RAIDERS FAN! F*** THE HATERS!! and a LA DODGERS FAN TOO> I LUV BOXING AND DANCING ALOT..
AS FAR AS MOVIES INTO GANGSTA MOVIES SCARFACE, GOODFELLAS,DONNIE BRASCO, AMERICAN ME ETC..I ALSO LIKE COMEDIES AND SCARY MOVIES.
*I DO HAVE A DAUGHTER ON THE WAY DUE NEXT MONTH, IM NOT WIT THE BABY DADDY, AND DONT PLAN TO BE, IM SINGLE .
}
I think this speaks for itself.

So this week I was contacted by an attractive Single Mother, looking for a nice guy. It is flattering that my bitter profile would still give her the impression that I am a nice guy, but The Zombie Question tells all.

In my dating adventures, I have stumbled upon THE QUESTION that can determine if a woman is worth dating. It tests her ability to respond to the unusual (something prominent in my life). It tests her creativity, her common sense, and her familiarity with the undead.

SBFSM has a long list of things in her profile that she will not tolerate. There is more text telling us that she won't do booty calls, or photo exchanges, or married men, than there is telling us what she is like. A woman with standards is always a plus.
But, as I said, it all comes down to the Zombie Question.

Overnight, the world has ended in a quiet apocalypse as an unknown disease turns friends and neighbors into shambling corpses, hungering for the flesh of the living. You are mysteriously unaffected. What would you do?

I would first have to say a little prayer and thank god that I am ok and another for my son who would be affected. Then I would try to stay low key and live my life the best I can.

While I appreciate a woman's willingness to tackle this question (as opposed to blocking me, which happens a lot), the fact of the matter is that you need to draw the line somewhere.

And trying to live the life you had before is on the wrong side of that line.

Though she does get a bonus point for casually accepting the death of her son. Though she doesn't specify if she would just shoot him in the head, or chain him up to the waterheater and feed him human brains for the forseeable future.

The magic is in the details, ladies.