Not actually as stupid as I look.

I have a personal problem.
I try to act like a gentleman at all times. However, somewhere I picked up the idea that gentlemen do not discuss sex or sexuality openly. On top of that, is a layer of feigned ignorance. When the topic of sex comes up, my halo turns on. *boop!* I don't share stories, commonly. I don't look on knowingly. I am an innocent lamb.

I am not actually a lamb. I'm not a goat either, but I'm definitely not a lamb. However, my calculated demeanor gives to those around me the impression of ignorance on all topics reproductive. Incidentally, through normal conversation, I gave all participants the impression that I did not understand how the Female Systems worked. With my personal habits, it's no suprise.
This is not the case, I insisted. However, my eyes got shifty, and it appeared as if this was just a cleaver ruse to cover up the ignorance I surely posess.

The female body is a complicated system of glands and ductwork that can only be described as a "wonderland," (don't blame me for that, this was a preferred adjective by an ex girlfriend of mine). That is stupid, and incidentally, she is stupid. Branching away from her preferences, I would describe it as "complicated." Certainly more complicated that its counterpart.
This system is composed of various internal and external components, which need to be operated in the right order and combination to produce a desired effect. There is no manual, and the combination changes every day.
::sigh:: Observe my charming, matter of fact approach to the subject. I don't think I've ever actually had a sensual talk on this subject. This contributes to my awkwardness.

Just so we're clear, there are 58,266 files, stored in 13.8 gigabytes on my computer that demonstrate a decade's worth of intensive "study" on this subject. I have personal experience on the subject as well, but this is hardly the place to discuss others. That would be rude.
And apparently, today, I care.

The fault lies in my personal belief that I am more approachable as an innocent. A friend suggested that perhaps I should be like James Bond. James Bond is unquestionably a gentleman. And unquestionably a gentleman of the world. Also an assasin. Through cleaver use of innuendo he appears both polite and sexy. Through accurate use of firearms, he is also deadly. This is a new goal of mine.