Date Review: Clarine

The very first date I went on was with Clarine, who contacted me via eHarmony.

I was initially hesitant, because her profile said that she could not stand "cheap" people. Now, eHarmony defines "cheap" as "so tight fisted as to be impractical." I wouldn't call myself cheap, but my friends have been known to say I was "so tightfisted as to be impractical." So I guess it doesn't matter what I think.
She decided to contact me because I said that I like to Karaoke, and if a guy likes singing, how bad can he be?

Pretty bad, apparently.

I picked her up from her office to share lunch at a local Indian restaurant. Not bow and Arrow Indian, this is dot on the head Indian. The first thing I noticed was that she didn't really look like her profile picture. College had been "good" to her, let's say. About 30 extra pounds good. But she had pretty eyes, and I'm more about face and hair than body, so it didn't really bother me. This is obviously a lie, but Sixty-two thousand, four hundred repetitions make one truth. Fortuantely our time together didn't last that long.

When she got into my car, she took Ben, the Teddy Bear Trapper, and tossed him on the floor. She said she hadn't noticed him, and thought he was a rabbit. This was because he was wearing a rabbit hat, and a dragon vest that I had painstakingly made a week before. I decided that Ben and his cute little hat, and nice red vest, would go home with the first woman who took me on a date.

The date was, in retrospect a disaster.
We spent lunch trying to engage eachother in conversation, but failing. We had things in common, just not anything we were actually excited about. So our date consisted of us taking stabs at failed conversation, over plates of curry.

She said she didn't like science. She said she was happier knowing that a tree was a tree, rather than see it as a vast system of simple parts and complicated chemistry. Well, that was where I closed the book. If I can't share my earthly knowledge, I'd have nothing to say to her. I decided that I'd pick up the whole check (she'd asked me out, but was not interested in picking it up herself), since I wasn't going to ask her out again.

I was saved the trouble of telling her I didn't think we'd work out, because she immediately blocked me on AIM, and stopped communicating. I wasn't going to chase after her, since she had an enmity against trees.
A week later, eHarmony notified me that she had closed contacted because "the chemistry wasn't there."

Maybe it was because I left the rabbit's eyes on the bear's hat?